I messages & Response; Conflict Resolution 1

I Messages-Asking for Change

I messages communicate your wants, needs, and feelings in a respectful manner. Scroll underneath the chart and follow directions on leaning how to use I messages and the response.  Next, give children a scenario and have them use the chart as a guide to ask f0r change, or to respond with active listening.  

I Messages

• Starting a sentence with an I, conveys how a person feels or what they want; I feel mad that you take my toys.
• Starting a sentence with YOU, assigns blame: You took my toys.  

(Use the chart above as a guide)
Start by practicing half of the sentence; I feel mad, when you take my toys.
After the first section is said smoothly, add the second part;
I feel mad, when you take my toys.
Can you ask me first, and then you can play with them

Example
I feel mad, when you take my toys.

Can you please ask me first, and then you can play with them.

I feel frustrated, when you push me.

Can you please stop pushing me, and then we can get along.

I feel scared, when you yell at me.

Can you please talk softer, and then I will try to pay attention when you are speaking.

Response-Active Listening

The next step is learning how to answer back with active listening.  If a person answers back in this manner, others will know you have heard them and understood what they are saying.  It works well to learn this in two sections also.

Example
You sound mad, that I took your toys.            

Next time I will ask you, and I'm sorry.                                

You sound frustrated, because I pushed you.

Next time I will not put my hands on you, and I take responsibility.

You sound scared, that I was yelling.

Next time I will talk softer, and I am sorry that I scared you.