I Messages-Asking for Change and Active Listening Response
I Messages-Asking for Change
· Starting a sentence with an, I, conveys how a person feels or what they want; I feel mad that you take my toys.
· Starting a sentence with YOU, assigns blame: You took my toys!
Start by practicing half of the sentence; I feel mad, when you
take my toys. On a separate occasion after the first section is
said smoothly, add the second part. I feel mad, when you take
my toys. Can you please ask me first, and then you can use them.
I Message Examples
I feel mad, when you take my toys.
Can you please ask me first, and then you can play with them.
I feel frustrated, when you push me.
Can you please stop pushing me, and then we can play/get along.
I feel scared, when you yell at me.
Can you please talk in a softer voice, and then I will try to pay attention when you are talking.
The next step is learning how to answer back with active listening. If a person answers back in this manner, others will know you have heard them, and understood what they are saying. It works well to learn this in two sections, also.
You sound mad, that I took your toys.
Next time I will ask you first, and I'm sorry.
You sound frustrated, because I pushed you.
Next time I will not put my hands on you, and I take responsibility.
You sound scared, that I was yelling.
Next time I will talk softer, and I am sorry that I scared you.